NGE Egyptology, Osirians
by Nightwish001
Summary: Sutekh the Destroyer has returned, but for what reason, surely not to help?


Begin Transmission…

NGE: Egyptology? Osirians!

Disclaimer: Neither me or Nagashi own Eva, Dr Who, or any other references to thing we don't own… except maybe that doughnut over there

doughnut is stolen by a dog

Nightwish: Hey! Get back here!

Nagashi: Don't worry about it, just get on with the story

Nightwish: But, but…whines I want **my** doughnut…

Nagashi: Ah get over it damnnit throws him a doughnut

Nightwish: Woot!

Nagashi: sigh Come on, WRITE!

Nightwish: OK, OK…

Chapter 1: Last of the Osirians

Shinji is standing on the Tokyo-3 car park and starts walking towards the City Centre, to be picked up by the woman whose picture he was now staring at.

"Does this woman have no shame," he thought aloud as he read the words on it '_Take a look at this' _"Mind you, she looks sad somehow" he mused to himself.

After a couple of minuets of vague searching in Central Tokyo-3 he pondered to himself _'Why is there nobody here?' _he sighed _'Why did I come here… its not like anything would have changed, better see what's happening then'_

Shinji walked over to a nearby payphone and dialled, but all he got at the on the end of the receiver was a public service announcement "We apologise for the inconvenience, for any complaints please contact NERV or your local area's NERV representative." _'Bloody father, can't even get working phones_ '

Something caught his eye to his right; he turned and saw a blue haired girl. This, however strange, didn't bother him. It was the Red eyes that freaked him slightly. He looked again, but she'd gone. In her place was a small glass pyramid. Intrigued by this he walked over and picked it up. He was going to examine it further, but an explosion rather too close for comfort gave the view to pocket it and examine it later, which he did.

A car came screeching to a halt several feet from him and the door opened. The woman, whom he recognised as the one from the photo, shouted at him

"Get in the car, hurry"

Not in the mood to argue, he jumped in. The car sped off, just as another missile hit the spot they'd just been in. Shinji hung on for his life and tried his best not to fall out the half open door.

"Ep! I'm guessing you can't slow down a bit, so I can close this" He looked at the door with a little hesitation and started to reach out for the handle

"Don't bother, MOVE AWAY FROM THE DOOR!" she exclaimed as the car sped round the corner, knocking the door off on a lamp post.

"Argh! Shit! There goes my no-claims"

"You mean you still had it?" asked a stunned Shinji

"What are you getting at exactly? Shinji? Isn't it?"

"Nothing, nothing… Miss Katsuragi"

"OK then, let it stay nothing, and call me Misato, please, I insist"

"Umm… OK Misato"

The conversation came to a complete halt there as a red light appeared at the next crossroads and the car screeched to a halt. A man, about 5'10", with a large Egyptian style mask and a business suit (minus the tie, replaced with a scarf) started to walk across the street. What really made him stand out though was that he was carrying a multi-coloured umbrella. Misato sits there growling to herself, whilst trying to figure out why someone would still be in the city. She called out the window

"Get out of here to a shelter you fool, the angel's nearly here!" and with that she sped off.

The figure meanwhile, stood there and thought to himself. _'What's her problem, I sense no danger'_ at that point, the Angel reared its ugly head. _'Oh! That's what she meant, though its no bother'_ he began speaking aloud to the angel

"I bring Sutekh's gift of death to all abominations!" He pulled out a small silver rod and pressed a button on it. It started beeping slowly and with that, he walked into the small pyramid like structure beside him, the pyramid then faded out. As soon as this happened, the silver rod shot off and hit the angel.

Sachiel, 5 seconds before impact was needles to say, enjoying himself. He was thinking to himself what he would say to the other angels when he returned triumphant. He could not believe how weak these petty lillim were, batting away a pesky VTOL. At that moment, the missile hit.

The explosion covered at least five city blocks with flames. Some remaining embers hit the window of Misato's overturned car, and started melting through.

"Bloody Hell!" Shinji exclaimed, as a drip hit his shirt.

"Nooooooo! My car! Why me" she sobbed

"Misato, don't you think we should get out of here…"

"One moment" Misato shifts the gear stick into neutral and they both got out of the car. Misato pulled out her phone and hit the autodial.

_(A.N. Phone conversation in text)_

Yes it's me, what the hell was that!

What do you mean it came out of nowhere?

No, my transport is wrecked, can you get something out to me

This is an emergency situation, what do you mean you can't do better than 30 minuets! The angel could attack at any moment!

What! You mean its dead!

Oh, OK, we have 3 hours then

Thanks, Maya, Bye

"Right, Shinji, we have to go, can you-"

She was interrupted by a motorbike engine roaring into life. Shinji pulled out of a nearby alley mounted on a Harley Davidson classic.

"-never mind, where did you get that?"

"Uh… found it, there were directions on this note" He pulled out a small scrap of paper and gave it to her.

"I bring Sutekh's gift of Transport to all human life… who the hell is that?"

"Dunno, but he gave me this paperweight as well" He pulled out the Glass pyramid and showed it to her. As soon as she made contact with it, a lamp post fell and came dangerously close to hitting her. Shinji quickly pulled back and put the pyramid away.

"Uh…uh… let's get out of here then"

"You mean you can ride it?"

"I… er…I missed the last train, so I thought rather than being late, I took the liberty of…erm… borrowing my Uncle's bike, but yeah, I can ride it, here" Shinji replied nervously as he threw her a helmet.

Slowly, Misato put on the helmet and sat behind him _"OK, now why did I have to wear this dress this morning, it's going to be one of those days" _

End Chapter 1

Nightwish: That good enough for you?

Nagashi: _(mocking) _I don't like it

Nightwish: Well, what do you think is missing then?

Nagashi: Omake!

Nightwish: Fine, but get me some more material for the next chapter

_Nagashi throws a couple of DVD's and Manga's at him_

Nightwish: Woot!

Nagashi: Now write the Omake!

Nightwish: Hai, hai…

Omake!

"I bring Sutekh's Gift of death to all abominations" he proclaimed in a rather tired voice

"I resent that you know" Sachiel answered "It's a common misconception with you Osirians, always 'giving the gift of death' it's all the same with you people, can't you go bother some other messenger?"

"No, I'm afraid that I tried to visit Kaoru, but apparently he was indisposed after he tried to be some mortal child's 'Guardian Angel',"

"Sick Bastard"

"Yeah tell me about it, the high heaven's courts tried to charge him, but could only hold him for further questioning" he continued

"Well he won't do that again in a hurry," Sachiel paused "What were we going on about again"

"About how Kaoru was gay and that you'd kill yourself because of it" bluffed Sutekh

"Oh…oh, really?"

"Yep,"

"Well you'd better stand back a bit then," Sachiel's core started glowing

"Right, excuse me" Sutekh walks off

Satchiel explodes violently, wiping out himself, and somehow, leaving the other buildings standing

"_Gotta love deflection barriers"_ Sutekh mused to himself, as he bent over a nearby plant pot.

End Omake!

Nightwish: Well that's it for now folks…

Nagashi: _(Interrupting)_ No it isn't, get to work

Nightwish: Can you hold this for me _(He hands him a glass pyramid)_

Nagashi: And? What's this? _(A small portion of roof falls on him)_ Owww…...

Nightwish: Well, that'll teach you, anyway, please review! With the help of that other nutter _(points to Nagashi)_ I will keep this fic going, and flamers will receive Sutekh's gift of death.

…End of Transmission


End file.
